Monday, December 10, 2007

I Think I Lost My Best Friend To Religion

Sorta studying for my finals, but I've had a lot on my mind besides schoolwork. Most of it is quite random, but one thing that bothers me most is the fact that one of my best friends is slipping away from me. I supported her when she said she's become a christian- she came out of the closet like a gay guy, only that its for religion, and now she's been baptized, which I also supported and would of also gone if not for my 2 finals. I thought religion was a means to escape the cruelties of her parent's divorce, which happened right during the time she happened to go to college. She was happy, and as any friend should be, be happy that her friend is happy.

What I did not support was the fact that she has believed she could not tell me things because she felt I did not understand. Ok, it's fine if you like a guy who has the same Christian values as yourself, but the fact I cannot understand perhaps hindered you from originally sharing it with me? Okay, I'm an athiest, and I have plenty of other friends with religion around me. Muslims, Buddhists, Catholics, devout Christians...They have not put religious pressures on me and have respected my atheism. I in turn, respected them and take them for who they are.

Then comes Thanksgiving where we don't meet up due to scheduling conflicts. Even before then, I'd call and our usually Friday chats were suddenly curbed due to busy schedules, and she doesn't call back or let me know of the date she was going back home? What ever happened to that sleepover the first night we got back? Never happened because she fell asleep and had to unpack her room. No meeting on Thanksgiving, ok. Friday the meeting was cancelled even though I was busy and would have come back from NYC at night to meet up with her. Then to add insult to injury, she suggested we met up on Sunday morning, in the time slot right before church, and it may have been a misinterpretation/miscommunication, but before that I thought she suggested that we head to church together to meet up. Uhm...no. Well it was fine anyways, since it turned out her time slot before church also became filled and I had to be back in DC that day.

I've probably lost friendships due to religion, but this is the worst thing possible to feel that I lost one of my childhood best friends due to religion. And I know to her it was unintentional. It hurts to feel Church > Me. I don't have qualms over the basics of spiritualism and being a good samaritan. I can be slightly bitter about the church and saying it's actually evil and has brought my best friend to a land of no return but that is middle school behavior. Spiritualism is a means to help the stress through life and that is why I see people leaning on it as a pillar of support. Religion didn't work for me, and its not like I haven't tried. What makes me bitter the most is the fact there are people that can change their network of friends so much due to the influence of the circle of religious friends. Brainwashing perhaps? I don't know. Perhaps the fact some people do not have the ability to separate the Church and friends, as the same way as the Church and State.

I study international relations and this comes with human behavior, communications, and diplomacy. I know I can go back in there and still salvage my friendship. But would I want to when I know my best friend was willing to make more time for Church which is always there, especially on Sundays, than to meet up with her best friend of 13 years that she hasn't seen for 3 months? I'm not sure, as I am tired of putting most of the effort into the friendship.

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