Letter Graveyard

I was browsing around on livejournal, and saw this thing called letter graveyard. It's for people who have written out letters to fully express their feelings towards someone/a situation, but never sent out. I read through a few pages, of course they were always the extreme of emotions of course- love and anger.

Maybe all those letters and the author's stories should end up in a collection labelled "Book you should bang your head on." Quite appealing, ain't it? I think there I would contribute one myself then.

Then I read through a few more letters. Some had comments in them, so I browsed a few of those too. It turned out that others could relate and felt that same letter could've been written by them too. It's sad to know so many people have been cheated on, been the cheater, told some lies; yet there are so many unrequited love letters to balance out the effect and mellow out the tone. So I thought, how different and similar are we all?

Here I am, trying to write my own story. I've always wanted to be different. Yet, amongst the many who study International Relations, a good portion idealistically want to end up working for the government or an NGO. I suppose I am part of that rat race.

Soon, I'll be part of a number of graduating students scurrying off to find a proper job. Honestly, I don't feel I'll have too much difficulty in the employment area with my current resume, so that cuts off another portion of similar stories.

Then the struggle for success, recognition, and the ideal lifestyle that was implanted in most of our American dreaming brains: a pretty house with white picket fences, a spouse, and 2 kids. Green grass, chirping birds, shiny cars, and uhhhh, hello? Welcome to divorceville, population: more than half this country.

Seriously, this struggle is faced especially in career women; we're not like those dreamy Japanese housewives where once they are either married or have a kid, they would say at the office, "Thaaaatt's it folks! I'm outttaaa here!" No, I have goals to improve this world, and to face the decision of balancing a family or career, well the latter comes first. So that decision hacks off another good portion of the rat race.

I don't know why, but I love trying to be different from everyone else. I am not sure if that is because there is something I want to prove. However, I always like to do something a little different. And even all my friends are the same, yet constrastingly different from myself- my best friends come from all different countries and faiths. What I love about my best friends are that they complete me, and what I lack, they make up for- ending up as my arm, a finger, a heart.

What am I? As much as I love being different, I also love relating. I remember at times when I was in China wondering about the lives of random people passing me by. The way they would hurry across the street, I wondered if they were married, what they were thinking at that moment. Maybe what to make for dinner, or when to pick up their kids. Then I'd sometimes think of my friends, those who I know well. I would wonder what they thought of in certain situations, initial reaction to an amusing situation, having them be with me in spirit.

Perhaps I am still trying to discover more about myself. Please let me know something about myself that you feel I should know. Well, the rest is still unwritten.