Being Open

It's funny, I always feel like I'm a pretty outgoing person. Perhaps it's the training from being in the hospitality industry- waitressing, hostessing, working with people. I would put on this smile for all others, put them ahead of myself and get the job done.

Then when it comes to myself, I start wondering how the heck I shirk back from all that and put a wall up. As much as I do talk about myself, it feels like it's the same old recycled stories going through this computer brain of mine. I'd give the same rant to everyone, perhaps more in detail when it comes to talking with my best friends. I guess they come in forms of light hearted complaints and whines or extreme enthusiasm which then people don't need to take seriously. I guess those complaints are semi in the form of my feelings, but I never really directly say my personal feelings out loud (unless it's for some adamant cause in which I say loud and clear).

However, I think the only time I really sat down and had real tete a tetes with someone was with this friend of mine in China. I never really had to do such a thing and even though it was awkward, it was probably the most honest thing out there. And seriously, we would sit down and talk about our friendship with each other, our relationship as friends and fix the downs when we have them. I guess I never really had issues with other friends of mine going through the downs, but it was also my friend who brought the issues up and made me awkwardly sit down and 'fess up about what I really thought. I hated it each time since he was tugging at my heart but it actually worked.

I guess the point of this post was my thoughts on tete a tetes. Tell others what's bothering you (as my stomach is right now) and the amount people can handle. Sometimes when I do tell what's on my mind, it hurts some people. Some take offense, some take it as a real eye opener. I've had to deal with hearing both. Heck, people actually admitted it to me. So here I am, wondering once again whether to be diplomatic in my approach or to really smack people with a sense of reality.