Who I Write For

I write for myself, I write for those who feel like reading, I write for those who want to walk at my pace a bit and reflect on life. Haha, I feel like I do that a lot.

I do not write for my family, friends, enemies, or acquaintances. If they do find this page, sure go ahead and read. But I hope that they find me much more livelier in flesh than in words.

I guess I've also been writing a lot lately since I have a bit to say, and not many people to turn to. I have the command of the world, but what is the use if they are not interested?

And here I am wondering, and have asked one of my best friends, who I really am. Perhaps I have been thinking too much about my resettlement back in DC, embracing the cold culture shock of people changing around me, it is like that fairytale where the man goes dancing with the fairies in his backyard and a minute in fairyland is worth several years in reality. I ponder whether those 2 semesters in the outside world costed me close-knit friendships that could have formed in college. As here I am, with the remains of scattered numbers and pages of the past.

Here is a girl, who can tell you all about backpacking throughout Europe, laugh at tales told by fellow backpackers about what they have seen wandering from country to country, perhaps not spit like a guy, but lived among them enough to drink and crack jokes that would make most dainty girls turn their heads in utter disgust. I most likely have accumulated more guy friends than girls throughout this time, and can pull up a handful to chat with online at almost any minute. If I need a place to stay in most parts of the world, have a nice warm meal, I'll be sure to find plenty, especially in Austrailia. With these travels and talking to random people, I have grown an obscure network, so I know people in all sorts of places, jobs, rankings, whatnot. Honestly I really don't care about all that, just the people and their hearts that are behind those silly titles.

Yet when it comes to being a simple girl trying to understand a guy beyond the level of friends, I am dumb. I've noticed that this past weekend. I've never needed to understand it really- it would be a simple life of amusing jokes, beer, food, whatnot- I guess I was a spoiled princess in some sense. If there was a cheap cliche that actually sometimes works properly, perhaps women are from venus, men are from mars. I have tried quite arduously to fit my mindset on what a guy thinks; there is an extent to how much of a tomboy I can be until I end up with a brick wall. The analyzation of human thought really isn't much up my alley though I like exploring the area. Oh do tell things to me directly and to the point. I may direct the way the world turns, but I need someone to direct me as I really need a break from leading at times. Perhaps that's too much work for a guy nowadays? And for those who may know me and read this, I do not bite (well maybe a few times before), I just need things to make sense and not waste any more time pondering as my schedule is quite booked up and there is an empty space in areas that were waiting to be filled with fun. Post isn't directed towards anyone particularly, just another analyzation of the complexities in human behaviour.