I noticed, as I delved into the age of 21 this past month, I have been getting this need to be more cautious . This unnoted sense of fear which I never quite had before. Hey, this is the same girl who shrugged her shoulders and just backpacked Europe for 5 weeks without thinking. Yet, at this age slowly sinks in about how old I have become, I feel this stronger sense of treading with caution ever so more. Is it this sudden unconscious realization for the fear of death? And thus, I continue to ponder.
As my time in China stretches past a week, I get more worried about sustaining my livelihood when I have not found myself a job. It is disappointing to say that people of my own "race" are doing reverse racism towards me. They would prefer stereotypical white foreigners with blond hair to teach their kids English, no matter how incompetent they may be. They would prefer this guy who claims to be from New Jersey, yet with this definitely non-east coast accent (I swear he sounds like a Lithuanian or somewhere from a Russian-based country) to get hired over someone who actually has the correct accent and skills to back up my resume.
China, really is a land of injustice. I do wonder how I am back here, but not that I'm second thoughts nearing regrets, but I'm still trying to find my place in this society. I am just a girl here who doesn't exactly stick out, yet doesn't exactly fit in either. Would that label me an official outcast?
Oh dear labels.
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