Human Behaviour- Friendships are not for sale

So yeah, I decided I'll spell behavior as behaviour for now. Busy juggling my internship, schoolwork, and having a life, I realized once again how friends are either there for you or not. How shallow some friendships have been and the mere disappearance you are simply replaced. As someone who often talks to random strangers while waiting for the metro or bus or in a coffeeshop, I rather thought of myself as an inclusive person. Unfortunately, that may not be the case with some people I associated myself with.

As everyone needs a breather from intensely hanging out with a group of friends (or just one), I became busy being immersed in my 9-5 job at NASA, as the big meeting I was working on was coming up quickly. Exhausted, I'd head home and arrive at 6, make myself a meal, shower, and lo and behold, it was already midnight after going online for a little bit. Then Mondays and Fridays I try to make up for that life by eating out with my friends or simply constrained to doing schoolwork. Occaisionally I would hang out with that group, but as they are gaming night owls, they fail to understand that I have a midnight curfew and I would end up being stuck in a situation where I could not go home unless someone dropped me back.

Suddenly, I come back into this situation where one day, it became as clear that they have formed a 2 person world in this group, separating both myself and this other girl's friend. Along with the whispers and inside sex jokes, we would be eliminated in a conversation, at an apartment, and quickly waved off with "we'll tell you when you're older." As she tells her Cali friend loudly "You can't speak Spanish!!" --while Cali girl took the language for 3 years and may not be rolling out her "r's" like a cuban from Miami. Excuse me? By the way, that girl is a freshman. So as I do put up with some freshman antics who think they are much smarter than they actually are, things just get a turn for the worse and I am quite insulted, to say the least. Sex jokes or not, as I do not need to disclose sexual activities to the world, I believe I often treat people with the same amount of adult respect whether they are older or younger than me. I have never told someone "i'll tell you when you're older," as everyone should learn at one point of their lives, and if they ask, one should tell. As the girl did become my replacement in that friendship, I did not mind as that friend of mine cannot even go to the grocery store alone without dragging an entourage with him. I needed the breathing room and she filled the shoes and perhaps more.

Perhaps my friend needed some TLC, and that girl with the position with her cuban latina ways and talks 50words/sec, but by no means does that mean ignoring 2 other people in your apartment. Perhaps he has fallen for her in his depth of loneliness, despite the fact she has a bf back in Miami (which she brags about a bit too much.) Perhaps they each are in their own little world of self absorbance that they fail to open up to others, however she indulges in his request for some TLC and he responds with material goods which I never fell into because I'm really not that materialistic in the first place. As for her friend, who has quickly become a friend of mine as we are both sitting on the couch ignored from the other conversation, as made me realize- perhaps she is simply using him and getting these goods, which is somewhat wrong because she has a bf back home though the bf seems to be ok with this threesome.

All in All, my friend shall leave in May to who knows what part of the world. He will be hiding behind his computer trying to chat with his friends online, unable to strike up potential friendships - not because he does not have an outgoing personality- just his reliance on other people's friends. Those two freshman girls signed up to be roommates next semester, and of course there is that question that lingers with her anger- do I really want to room with her if she treats me like shit? Luckily it is not my problem to deal with, though I have to be part of the complaint group.

For a group of two that makes me feel like I've wasted my time and made me feel angry and miserable about the situation, I think it's about times to end this chapter. I know that friendship survives even when we're in different countries, and they are there to rely on. Don't bug me about whether I'll miss you or if we'll keep in touch like its some guilt trip. I wonder if such a friendship was mendable, as my friend's cousin (we got along quickly when he came to visit him for a month) suggested- take a long time off and focus in other areas. It's a pity for a friendship that appeared quite strong to simply die off like that. Even telling him half of what I wrote apparently didn't go through his skull, most likely of his infatuation for attention.

Unfortunately for him, friendships are a give and recieve process of actually caring about your friend and what they are going through. Not- oh another story about me and what I did today. Until that day he may one day realize the friends he has lost along the way and actually realize he was in the wrong, I don't care about getting stupid william-sonoma aprons, your expensive cars, or Godiva/Lindt chocolates. It's the thought in a friendship that counts. There are some things you can't buy, and that's me.