After all the initial frustration, I think I'm getting the hang of this job searching ordeal. I'm hoping it comes to an end soon, and ideally, I would like to work as a full time editor at BDA, and work nights and early mornings teaching English to the Makro employees. If that happens, then I will know my money troubles will be gone. I am hoping to dear life that things work out. I know it will despite all my frustration, I know it in my gut feelings it will.
Since I had 3 interviews, all in opposite ends of Beijing, I have learned more about the city, as well as improved my interviewing skills. It was definitely better than the one I had at the end of last semester when the lady asked me what my skills were ("uhm.. skills?....I'm international...but that really isn't a skilll....." errhhh yeah that's how it went). Being in Beijing really has taught me a lot of things, despite the rough spots I'm trying to endure.
Along with my happy thoughts, I got a facial and massage for free on Sunday. It was amazing, totally legit as first timers go for free, and the prices are so well priced that it would be ridiculous to never go anywhere but there for the quality and price. :) So I'm feeling prettier haha (do sing~ I'm so pretty oh so pretty).
~ Girl in Beijing...Stephanie
Monday, May 28, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Fear of Falling
I noticed, as I delved into the age of 21 this past month, I have been getting this need to be more cautious . This unnoted sense of fear which I never quite had before. Hey, this is the same girl who shrugged her shoulders and just backpacked Europe for 5 weeks without thinking. Yet, at this age slowly sinks in about how old I have become, I feel this stronger sense of treading with caution ever so more. Is it this sudden unconscious realization for the fear of death? And thus, I continue to ponder.
As my time in China stretches past a week, I get more worried about sustaining my livelihood when I have not found myself a job. It is disappointing to say that people of my own "race" are doing reverse racism towards me. They would prefer stereotypical white foreigners with blond hair to teach their kids English, no matter how incompetent they may be. They would prefer this guy who claims to be from New Jersey, yet with this definitely non-east coast accent (I swear he sounds like a Lithuanian or somewhere from a Russian-based country) to get hired over someone who actually has the correct accent and skills to back up my resume.
China, really is a land of injustice. I do wonder how I am back here, but not that I'm second thoughts nearing regrets, but I'm still trying to find my place in this society. I am just a girl here who doesn't exactly stick out, yet doesn't exactly fit in either. Would that label me an official outcast?
Oh dear labels.
As my time in China stretches past a week, I get more worried about sustaining my livelihood when I have not found myself a job. It is disappointing to say that people of my own "race" are doing reverse racism towards me. They would prefer stereotypical white foreigners with blond hair to teach their kids English, no matter how incompetent they may be. They would prefer this guy who claims to be from New Jersey, yet with this definitely non-east coast accent (I swear he sounds like a Lithuanian or somewhere from a Russian-based country) to get hired over someone who actually has the correct accent and skills to back up my resume.
China, really is a land of injustice. I do wonder how I am back here, but not that I'm second thoughts nearing regrets, but I'm still trying to find my place in this society. I am just a girl here who doesn't exactly stick out, yet doesn't exactly fit in either. Would that label me an official outcast?
Oh dear labels.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Walking Around With A Flipped Umbrella
So, I suppose China has been feeding rain seeds/rockets to force rain upon Beijing today. I woke up ready to start my day, only to realize that it was pouring rain outside. Umbrella-less and on my way to Sculpting in Time, I grabbed a frilly lilac colored umbrella near the door. It flipped the other way, like the type that would blow a crappy umbrella inside out, but appearing to be more natural. Feeling that I couldn't make it normal and it was, I repeat, pouring, I just walked out the apartment building with a oddly half opened flipped banana. Wish I had a picture of that spectacular moment. Luckily, around the corner at a shoe shop, where I attempted to ask where I could buy a new umbrella, the saleslady helped unflip my umbrella and got it working. Talk about how useless and unthrifty I felt, like some shallow rich girl who didn't know how to tie her own shoes or something so simple.
I talked to my best friend from NJ online today...she's not quite happy at this moment due to a variety of issues. I wish I was there for her, as we were supposed to spend the summer together in the tri-state area. Instead, here I am, oceans away with a crappy inernet connection. Heck, I'm not in Myanmar, so I guess I should be glad of my lifestyle. Yet, I do so wish I was there as a presence despite not being able to be of help in any way possible. I don't aim to be any supergirl, but my zodiac is a taurus, and a tiger, so I have a tendency of protecting the people around me.
Perhaps I have turned into a softie, but I generally have a soft spot for all my friends. Best friends especially. As she told me a sparknotes version, I was getting sad and teary (for no reason). Though it was no one's real fault except for timing, I wanted to fly all the way back just to beat people up to probably make me feel better rather than my friend. It's hard to describe this wretched feeling of not being able to protect my best friend from all that pain. Then again, it's about that time of the month when I'm quite pmsy so perhaps there is this feeling of sadness. (As I start making up this long dramatic song~ Saaaaaddd---neesssss)
Thus, here I am, back in China, where you can get a set meal for $2-3, birth control pills for $2,50, an abortion for about $60. Professional beggars on the streets, controlled internet surfing, an abundance of foreigners who only drink and party every night. Local Chinese who feel Americans are invading China, the growth of a bubble economy, Chinese who psychologically believes it is the righteous thing to do to rip off foreigners in any means possible. I do wonder how I ended up once again in this corrupted country.
Where the real estate agent and landlord combine forces to purposely rip apart foreigners. Lessons from the learned~ My rule of thumb, never mix personal and business together, it walks a fine line. You know there's something wrong with the picture when the translator breaks down crying in negotiations, it's about time your "building a good rapport" with that person is cut off in terms of business. Alway live with caution in China, as statements that seemingly fishy can simply be noted as lies, thus battle lies with time and arguments for righteousness. In any negotiation, don't let yourself be pushed or hurried, the main goal of the game is to get someone to follow your pace. If you let things slide easily and get rushed into something you're uncertain about, that's when issues arise, and the cheating is allowed. People are easily taken advantaged of if not careful, and I always have hated that feeling of being cheated.
I don't know how to really explain my time in China yet. It's been of the lazy sort, where I get a bit accomplished each day in terms of errands, but I wished it to be slightly action packed. This still artsy laziness was something I craved for, this alone time to contemplate, sometimes I wonder if it is too much of an indulgence. I'm sure it is healthy, but rainy days just don't agree with me for sure.
I talked to my best friend from NJ online today...she's not quite happy at this moment due to a variety of issues. I wish I was there for her, as we were supposed to spend the summer together in the tri-state area. Instead, here I am, oceans away with a crappy inernet connection. Heck, I'm not in Myanmar, so I guess I should be glad of my lifestyle. Yet, I do so wish I was there as a presence despite not being able to be of help in any way possible. I don't aim to be any supergirl, but my zodiac is a taurus, and a tiger, so I have a tendency of protecting the people around me.
Perhaps I have turned into a softie, but I generally have a soft spot for all my friends. Best friends especially. As she told me a sparknotes version, I was getting sad and teary (for no reason). Though it was no one's real fault except for timing, I wanted to fly all the way back just to beat people up to probably make me feel better rather than my friend. It's hard to describe this wretched feeling of not being able to protect my best friend from all that pain. Then again, it's about that time of the month when I'm quite pmsy so perhaps there is this feeling of sadness. (As I start making up this long dramatic song~ Saaaaaddd---neesssss)
Thus, here I am, back in China, where you can get a set meal for $2-3, birth control pills for $2,50, an abortion for about $60. Professional beggars on the streets, controlled internet surfing, an abundance of foreigners who only drink and party every night. Local Chinese who feel Americans are invading China, the growth of a bubble economy, Chinese who psychologically believes it is the righteous thing to do to rip off foreigners in any means possible. I do wonder how I ended up once again in this corrupted country.
Where the real estate agent and landlord combine forces to purposely rip apart foreigners. Lessons from the learned~ My rule of thumb, never mix personal and business together, it walks a fine line. You know there's something wrong with the picture when the translator breaks down crying in negotiations, it's about time your "building a good rapport" with that person is cut off in terms of business. Alway live with caution in China, as statements that seemingly fishy can simply be noted as lies, thus battle lies with time and arguments for righteousness. In any negotiation, don't let yourself be pushed or hurried, the main goal of the game is to get someone to follow your pace. If you let things slide easily and get rushed into something you're uncertain about, that's when issues arise, and the cheating is allowed. People are easily taken advantaged of if not careful, and I always have hated that feeling of being cheated.
I don't know how to really explain my time in China yet. It's been of the lazy sort, where I get a bit accomplished each day in terms of errands, but I wished it to be slightly action packed. This still artsy laziness was something I craved for, this alone time to contemplate, sometimes I wonder if it is too much of an indulgence. I'm sure it is healthy, but rainy days just don't agree with me for sure.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Back in Beijing
It's been the weirdest feeling to be back in Beijing. As I wandered across the road to the nearest internet, aka Starbucks, my sleepyness almost killed me as cars kept on honking pressing the gas pedal in full speed ahead.
I've been seeing the blue skies in one shape or form for the past few days. It has made me have a reason to believe that I made the right choice this summer to return back to Beijing. It really was a hard decision between China and Harry Potter. And EXTREMELY Difficult situation.
Anyways, the place I'm supposed to be renting for the next 2 months is quite....terrible. I mean, it's actually not a bad place at all if everything functioned properly...like the bathroom light, the hallway light, the kitchen light. Apparently my friends have told the landlord or whoever about it and they are not on top of their game in fixing any of those problems. Though they are quite adjusted to showering in the dark, the first day when they told me that, I felt like I was entering into some shithole which my good friends have called home. I feel like it's a terrible thing to call it as that, but I do like the apartment to be functioning and my roommate thought my friend (ex roommate) had told me and vice versa. I did indeed hear about a "sketchy bathroom", but in no way was it explicitly said that the light hasn't worked in there for the past several months. It didn't help the image of the cleanliness of the place after 5 people preceded to crash at the apartment over the weekend, and they were about to head back to the States, thus had all their luggage with them. Packing, plus pre and post partying at night, it is easy to say the apartment looked like a dump. Dear dear friends which I have no bitterness towards their stay in the apartment, but it does add to the image of the overall cleanliness of the apartment. By the way, did I mention the bathroom light does not work? Yes, I'm slightly bitter on that fact.
Thus, my first roommate discussion was about the rent ordeal and how I felt we were jipped considering how there are so many issues to be fixed at the apartment. Her only qualm was the need for a visa renewal, which requires a residency card, as if she does not get her visa renewed by Monday, she has the possibility of being kicked out of the country. I on the other hand, try to find a cheaper rental location, Chinese friends to help with the contract process, and ways to get everything I want in one shot without getting jipped. Being that my only worry is to make sure I make enough to balance out my debt of going abroad for the summer. It is the first time in a long time when financial issues are an immediate conscious thought. That's one thing about being in China: the constant feeling of being cheated on. I think that would be one automatic resulting in having a bitchy, pushy personality.
I've been seeing the blue skies in one shape or form for the past few days. It has made me have a reason to believe that I made the right choice this summer to return back to Beijing. It really was a hard decision between China and Harry Potter. And EXTREMELY Difficult situation.
Anyways, the place I'm supposed to be renting for the next 2 months is quite....terrible. I mean, it's actually not a bad place at all if everything functioned properly...like the bathroom light, the hallway light, the kitchen light. Apparently my friends have told the landlord or whoever about it and they are not on top of their game in fixing any of those problems. Though they are quite adjusted to showering in the dark, the first day when they told me that, I felt like I was entering into some shithole which my good friends have called home. I feel like it's a terrible thing to call it as that, but I do like the apartment to be functioning and my roommate thought my friend (ex roommate) had told me and vice versa. I did indeed hear about a "sketchy bathroom", but in no way was it explicitly said that the light hasn't worked in there for the past several months. It didn't help the image of the cleanliness of the place after 5 people preceded to crash at the apartment over the weekend, and they were about to head back to the States, thus had all their luggage with them. Packing, plus pre and post partying at night, it is easy to say the apartment looked like a dump. Dear dear friends which I have no bitterness towards their stay in the apartment, but it does add to the image of the overall cleanliness of the apartment. By the way, did I mention the bathroom light does not work? Yes, I'm slightly bitter on that fact.
Thus, my first roommate discussion was about the rent ordeal and how I felt we were jipped considering how there are so many issues to be fixed at the apartment. Her only qualm was the need for a visa renewal, which requires a residency card, as if she does not get her visa renewed by Monday, she has the possibility of being kicked out of the country. I on the other hand, try to find a cheaper rental location, Chinese friends to help with the contract process, and ways to get everything I want in one shot without getting jipped. Being that my only worry is to make sure I make enough to balance out my debt of going abroad for the summer. It is the first time in a long time when financial issues are an immediate conscious thought. That's one thing about being in China: the constant feeling of being cheated on. I think that would be one automatic resulting in having a bitchy, pushy personality.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Me? A Pirate? Arrrgggg!
http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/43610153
So there's this issue of music piracy that's been going on for ages...only to have picked up in the "recent" years. LoL, I'm probably going to get some letter from the recording association just saying this because I do live in the good o'le US of A, but I do believe piracy is necessary for the growth of the entertainment industry and the recording industry is just being total pricks about it. Okay, then sue me. That's what America does best. Suing people. We have this thing about being total victims and receiving monetary compensation for being incompetents. It's quite sad that lawyers have commercials on tv...it really makes being a lawyer such a turn off because all they care about is money. Of course, somewhere deep inside their acidly cold heart (caused by the 3 years of law school- and 50+hr work weeks) there are some that have a something besides a brain. Okay enough with legal bashing, as I do have some friends that are lawyer wannabes. But it's all for the money, where's the life? I guess people do sell their souls in for financial benefits, but that's not really my style.
In this case of the music industry trying to stomp out piracy, well I say there's always going to be something illegal in the world. Get over it. I'd say be happy people are listening to classics and even knowing about those ditsy Blondie pop singers. If I had to pay $8 for their song, I might as well form my own band. heck we should all form our own band and swap each other's music. I seriously had this notion of forming this idea of "free music" after reading the article, who needs the in between of record companies cracking down of the freedom of copyrighted sound?
After being in China, there's this thing I learned about personal space. Or the lack of, should I say. We Americans have this love of personal space, I mean, so do I. But that also comes with the fact that we are rich overpowering arses who have the luxury of space. In China, where a good portion of what we consume might as well be labelled fake, they don't. They have plenty of pirated goods because they cannot AFFORD the real thing. If they could not get pirated goods, do you think they would be so knowledgeable about learning more of the American culture? Hence, I think not. Perhaps the record companies lose out on this revenue (which I doubt would ever profit if sold legally in China...maybe 10 years down the line when their middle class incomes can afford American prices) but the American government should be glad that they want to learn more about the American culture via watching pirated copies of Friends or Seinfeld.
Call it informal diplomacy, or even illegal diplomacy. Though claiming to stunt of the profits of the entertainment industry, to obtain monetary compensation from the poorer tiers of society only puts off the growth of the industry itself since the music will no longer be "promoted". Cracking down on the college kids, who already sell blood to afford an education, is really like picking on the weak. Those kids, plenty whom don't even have any assets and are already in debt, would have to further sell an organ to make the entertainment industry feel they are doing justice. Oh wait, or they can ask their mommy and daddy to pay for them. I'm sorry, I pay for my own college and if they sent a letter to me, I'd rip out my kidney and chuck it in their faces. Go sell that in the black market for your settlement you turds. Honestly, I'd be so put off by the crappy American music industry (if not already) I might as well listen to French pop and Latino Reggaeton.
Who needs American pop then? If we want blondies who can't sing but can do it for free, why not bring in some Scandinavians who wanna be famous? We're only supporting the ridiculously rich lives of stars and their plastic surgery. What? American Idol? That's supposed to support the dreams of the unknown? LoL, another scheme to make us watch some lame tv. When I channel surf my friend's Comcast, with well over 300 channels, I can still find it funny that I can't find anything interesting to watch.
Therefore the point of my rant is to give a good cold stare at the music industry and say "Shame on us? Shame on you!" I think there are better things to be disputed and legislated about in Congress and it's quite sad if Congress does try to pass some sort of rule to appease the music industry; then again, with the dire need of cash in our government and the entertainment industry's never-ending income and willingness to "give" and reign over the world, us normal citizens are only play puppets of politics, money, and the drive for power. It's quite pathetic if Congress does take up this lil bicker legislation as it definitely will show who wears the pants in this country, and how low the American government has fallen to.
So there's this issue of music piracy that's been going on for ages...only to have picked up in the "recent" years. LoL, I'm probably going to get some letter from the recording association just saying this because I do live in the good o'le US of A, but I do believe piracy is necessary for the growth of the entertainment industry and the recording industry is just being total pricks about it. Okay, then sue me. That's what America does best. Suing people. We have this thing about being total victims and receiving monetary compensation for being incompetents. It's quite sad that lawyers have commercials on tv...it really makes being a lawyer such a turn off because all they care about is money. Of course, somewhere deep inside their acidly cold heart (caused by the 3 years of law school- and 50+hr work weeks) there are some that have a something besides a brain. Okay enough with legal bashing, as I do have some friends that are lawyer wannabes. But it's all for the money, where's the life? I guess people do sell their souls in for financial benefits, but that's not really my style.
In this case of the music industry trying to stomp out piracy, well I say there's always going to be something illegal in the world. Get over it. I'd say be happy people are listening to classics and even knowing about those ditsy Blondie pop singers. If I had to pay $8 for their song, I might as well form my own band. heck we should all form our own band and swap each other's music. I seriously had this notion of forming this idea of "free music" after reading the article, who needs the in between of record companies cracking down of the freedom of copyrighted sound?
After being in China, there's this thing I learned about personal space. Or the lack of, should I say. We Americans have this love of personal space, I mean, so do I. But that also comes with the fact that we are rich overpowering arses who have the luxury of space. In China, where a good portion of what we consume might as well be labelled fake, they don't. They have plenty of pirated goods because they cannot AFFORD the real thing. If they could not get pirated goods, do you think they would be so knowledgeable about learning more of the American culture? Hence, I think not. Perhaps the record companies lose out on this revenue (which I doubt would ever profit if sold legally in China...maybe 10 years down the line when their middle class incomes can afford American prices) but the American government should be glad that they want to learn more about the American culture via watching pirated copies of Friends or Seinfeld.
Call it informal diplomacy, or even illegal diplomacy. Though claiming to stunt of the profits of the entertainment industry, to obtain monetary compensation from the poorer tiers of society only puts off the growth of the industry itself since the music will no longer be "promoted". Cracking down on the college kids, who already sell blood to afford an education, is really like picking on the weak. Those kids, plenty whom don't even have any assets and are already in debt, would have to further sell an organ to make the entertainment industry feel they are doing justice. Oh wait, or they can ask their mommy and daddy to pay for them. I'm sorry, I pay for my own college and if they sent a letter to me, I'd rip out my kidney and chuck it in their faces. Go sell that in the black market for your settlement you turds. Honestly, I'd be so put off by the crappy American music industry (if not already) I might as well listen to French pop and Latino Reggaeton.
Who needs American pop then? If we want blondies who can't sing but can do it for free, why not bring in some Scandinavians who wanna be famous? We're only supporting the ridiculously rich lives of stars and their plastic surgery. What? American Idol? That's supposed to support the dreams of the unknown? LoL, another scheme to make us watch some lame tv. When I channel surf my friend's Comcast, with well over 300 channels, I can still find it funny that I can't find anything interesting to watch.
Therefore the point of my rant is to give a good cold stare at the music industry and say "Shame on us? Shame on you!" I think there are better things to be disputed and legislated about in Congress and it's quite sad if Congress does try to pass some sort of rule to appease the music industry; then again, with the dire need of cash in our government and the entertainment industry's never-ending income and willingness to "give" and reign over the world, us normal citizens are only play puppets of politics, money, and the drive for power. It's quite pathetic if Congress does take up this lil bicker legislation as it definitely will show who wears the pants in this country, and how low the American government has fallen to.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
The L Word
Lethargic, or Living out Loud? Well, that's about it for my title of the L Word.
So, I either have a million ideas running through my mind or I pass out and take several naps a day. I am on summer break, in hopes to achieve many things, yet it seems like the moment I am inside the house, I feel like taking a nap since I have nothing better to do.
It does feel a little surreal that I will be leaving in about 2 1/2 more days... Oh yes, must not forget that mosquito repellent. now that I think about it...
I think most of my friends get dizzy thinking about how much I travel. Honestly, it's really not much, but I might as well travel before I get too tired to do so. I've been breaking in my new journal, it's gonna be photo/artsy inspired. I'm totally looking forward to snapping more pics and printing them out cheaply in China. Almost forgot my goal there to be an English teacher.
Things I want to do in China:
1) Overnight Mountain Yoga Retreat
2) Weekend trip out to the beach
3) One random tourist location a week
4) Try a different restaurant each week
5) A facial every other week would be nice...
6) Someone to support my pricey lifestyle as well...lols jk.
I'm really looking forward to this different experience in Beijing. I'll really need to study harder, work harder, play harder. Oops, what was the point of this post?
So, I either have a million ideas running through my mind or I pass out and take several naps a day. I am on summer break, in hopes to achieve many things, yet it seems like the moment I am inside the house, I feel like taking a nap since I have nothing better to do.
It does feel a little surreal that I will be leaving in about 2 1/2 more days... Oh yes, must not forget that mosquito repellent. now that I think about it...
I think most of my friends get dizzy thinking about how much I travel. Honestly, it's really not much, but I might as well travel before I get too tired to do so. I've been breaking in my new journal, it's gonna be photo/artsy inspired. I'm totally looking forward to snapping more pics and printing them out cheaply in China. Almost forgot my goal there to be an English teacher.
Things I want to do in China:
1) Overnight Mountain Yoga Retreat
2) Weekend trip out to the beach
3) One random tourist location a week
4) Try a different restaurant each week
5) A facial every other week would be nice...
6) Someone to support my pricey lifestyle as well...lols jk.
I'm really looking forward to this different experience in Beijing. I'll really need to study harder, work harder, play harder. Oops, what was the point of this post?
Friday, May 11, 2007
My House
So I'm back in the Garden State.
It's Friday...May 11, 2007.
I will be off in another 4 days, on May 15th.
Time is getting cut shorter and shorter, as I run away trying to find some extra minutes or seconds hidden under rocks or in the lake. I find myself playing the piano again--I forgot a lot of it, the piano has not been tuned in ages, but there's this melodic soothingness that substituted for my yoga. It's been about a month since I last came home, and each time there's a slightly different atmosphere to it.
I just feel like dancing or drawing...sitting back on life and pondering about what the world means.
As I said goodbye to my friends yesterday, I realized how once again, my roots are uplifted and walking towards another journey. Some of those friends, I will not see again. Some of those friends, when I come back, will once again be changed. I will have to search high and low for my perfect little society.
It's Friday...May 11, 2007.
I will be off in another 4 days, on May 15th.
Time is getting cut shorter and shorter, as I run away trying to find some extra minutes or seconds hidden under rocks or in the lake. I find myself playing the piano again--I forgot a lot of it, the piano has not been tuned in ages, but there's this melodic soothingness that substituted for my yoga. It's been about a month since I last came home, and each time there's a slightly different atmosphere to it.
I just feel like dancing or drawing...sitting back on life and pondering about what the world means.
As I said goodbye to my friends yesterday, I realized how once again, my roots are uplifted and walking towards another journey. Some of those friends, I will not see again. Some of those friends, when I come back, will once again be changed. I will have to search high and low for my perfect little society.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Remember those years back in high school??
I was out with my roommate and her buddies last night as one of the guys said we should go to Rumors, a bar in DC, because he knew the owner's son and could probably get us free drinks. I'm more a fan of chill or fancy lounges or a place where we could dance, but who usually passes up the word free drinks?
So the guy sits with us at the table and since he was completely already drunk, he tells us how he knows my roommate's friend (or more like roommate's bf's coworker/friend/roommate). They did football in highschool together. And the guy was a year younger than the friend, who was the captain. Honestly, I could not have imagined the guy doing football, nor being captain due to his arrogant attempts of comedic relief personality. Then the drunken owner's son goes ranting off about how the year after he graduated from college (which sounded like a big accomplishment), all he did was drink, get high, and do coke. Fan~ta~stic.
But I started to look at the people around me, as I realized how we all came from different backgrounds, different places, yet as we are sitting there at that moment and our lives converged, who cared if we did sports in high school? Or a national merit scholar? Or the most popular person in the school? Yet, we allowed a small peek into our past lives, and we learn, hey there was more than 1 football team/"popular crowd"/academic genius out there, so I'm sure there were more of those people out at the bars. Ten years down the line, it would be sad if they were still riding on their high school fame and have not accomplished anything new. So we can talk about it, and it doesn't amount to much, and at the same time, those who linger on such small details of the past, well they definitely need to get over themselves. I'm not saying that the night was sour because of that event, nor anything of that sort, but I'm glad life moves on to greater achievements.
So the guy sits with us at the table and since he was completely already drunk, he tells us how he knows my roommate's friend (or more like roommate's bf's coworker/friend/roommate). They did football in highschool together. And the guy was a year younger than the friend, who was the captain. Honestly, I could not have imagined the guy doing football, nor being captain due to his arrogant attempts of comedic relief personality. Then the drunken owner's son goes ranting off about how the year after he graduated from college (which sounded like a big accomplishment), all he did was drink, get high, and do coke. Fan~ta~stic.
But I started to look at the people around me, as I realized how we all came from different backgrounds, different places, yet as we are sitting there at that moment and our lives converged, who cared if we did sports in high school? Or a national merit scholar? Or the most popular person in the school? Yet, we allowed a small peek into our past lives, and we learn, hey there was more than 1 football team/"popular crowd"/academic genius out there, so I'm sure there were more of those people out at the bars. Ten years down the line, it would be sad if they were still riding on their high school fame and have not accomplished anything new. So we can talk about it, and it doesn't amount to much, and at the same time, those who linger on such small details of the past, well they definitely need to get over themselves. I'm not saying that the night was sour because of that event, nor anything of that sort, but I'm glad life moves on to greater achievements.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
"Most of the time in our world, the truth is just an opinion"
Taken from Michael Ondaatje's Anil's Ghost. (Author of The English Patient)
This goes along well with an excerpt I read in one of those spy-detective-action Tom Clancy books where a guy (I believe it was a Catalonian or Bastian) who said the only reason the people who claim they are in the right is because they have the majority to back them up. However if the minority took hold and became the majority, that would be the new right. Well, something along those lines...I can't look it up because I read it while in Japan and that has been stuck in my mind since, and pops up from time to time. Though I'm sure that novel was well written before 9/11, it very well echoes the sentiments of terrorists who believe themselves to be freedom fighters.
And if you think about it, it is true. As well as the fact the "truth" is what we choose to believe, and those we choose to believe can be formed through an opinion. And sometimes we twist the "truth" around to deceive ourselves into the morally right way of thinking.
If we start philosophizing about this, might as well reread Sophie's World.
As time is racing faster and faster into the future for me, I realize how I have yet to stop for the friends around me, to say my final goodbyes to those who will soon graduate. I suspected a few of them when they say "Let's Hang Out" and I knew, that would never happen due to our time constraints and different group of friends that we have made since we last hung out. It was one of those- we weren't good enough friends nor do I want to be better friends and play the fake catch-up night out and waste my time. It is a bit of a pity for people to think that way, but it can definitely be read on people's minds when they say "we definitely need to hang out." I can honestly say in my cases that if you want to hang out with me, I will put your name and date on my agenda book and show up that day. If not, at least I have the decency to tell you before hand.
Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Most of the time, they really don't mean it and its quite obvious when they don't but they still try- not to accuse my friends of being shallow or fake, but sometimes it's one of those phrases "I'll call you" but it never happens. Then just don't say it, ya know?
I mean, sometimes I feel life around me there's just so many bullshitters. Perhaps that's what you need to do to join the rat race.
This goes along well with an excerpt I read in one of those spy-detective-action Tom Clancy books where a guy (I believe it was a Catalonian or Bastian) who said the only reason the people who claim they are in the right is because they have the majority to back them up. However if the minority took hold and became the majority, that would be the new right. Well, something along those lines...I can't look it up because I read it while in Japan and that has been stuck in my mind since, and pops up from time to time. Though I'm sure that novel was well written before 9/11, it very well echoes the sentiments of terrorists who believe themselves to be freedom fighters.
And if you think about it, it is true. As well as the fact the "truth" is what we choose to believe, and those we choose to believe can be formed through an opinion. And sometimes we twist the "truth" around to deceive ourselves into the morally right way of thinking.
If we start philosophizing about this, might as well reread Sophie's World.
As time is racing faster and faster into the future for me, I realize how I have yet to stop for the friends around me, to say my final goodbyes to those who will soon graduate. I suspected a few of them when they say "Let's Hang Out" and I knew, that would never happen due to our time constraints and different group of friends that we have made since we last hung out. It was one of those- we weren't good enough friends nor do I want to be better friends and play the fake catch-up night out and waste my time. It is a bit of a pity for people to think that way, but it can definitely be read on people's minds when they say "we definitely need to hang out." I can honestly say in my cases that if you want to hang out with me, I will put your name and date on my agenda book and show up that day. If not, at least I have the decency to tell you before hand.
Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Most of the time, they really don't mean it and its quite obvious when they don't but they still try- not to accuse my friends of being shallow or fake, but sometimes it's one of those phrases "I'll call you" but it never happens. Then just don't say it, ya know?
I mean, sometimes I feel life around me there's just so many bullshitters. Perhaps that's what you need to do to join the rat race.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Being 21
I get to spend another 362 days of being 21. What have I learned so far in the past 4 days?
1) One of my friends think my life is a sitcom as the craziest things happen to me.
2) Vodka really doesn't go down my system too well
3) The blackboard website decided to mess me over with technology as my professor said she did not receive my final.
4) It's okay to admire strong people since that's the only way you can become stronger. That's what role models and mentors are for. :)
5) Just don't be too much in awe of them during the interview that you feel worthless.
6) Life is about laughter and having great people to share it with.
7) There are so many more people I wished I had the chance to meet and talk to, just the right moment never came up. Yet I am lucky to have became good friends to the ones I did.
8) You win some, you lose some. But in the end, life is short so live it up.
9) It's awkward receiving gifts, but people give them because it makes them happy.
10) It's great that I want to protect all my friends, but I'm no super girl.
What have I not learned?
1) What ever happened to my toe??!
2) Why is one side of my bum feeling bruised...
3) How the heck I'm going to JFK on May 15th...
4) How to keep in contact with all my friends as more of them graduate or leave the country...
5) Why I haven't kept in contact with more people from high school
It would be nice if my daily life had background music to it. But honestly, it's not that interesting, it's just plain random. :)
1) One of my friends think my life is a sitcom as the craziest things happen to me.
2) Vodka really doesn't go down my system too well
3) The blackboard website decided to mess me over with technology as my professor said she did not receive my final.
4) It's okay to admire strong people since that's the only way you can become stronger. That's what role models and mentors are for. :)
5) Just don't be too much in awe of them during the interview that you feel worthless.
6) Life is about laughter and having great people to share it with.
7) There are so many more people I wished I had the chance to meet and talk to, just the right moment never came up. Yet I am lucky to have became good friends to the ones I did.
8) You win some, you lose some. But in the end, life is short so live it up.
9) It's awkward receiving gifts, but people give them because it makes them happy.
10) It's great that I want to protect all my friends, but I'm no super girl.
What have I not learned?
1) What ever happened to my toe??!
2) Why is one side of my bum feeling bruised...
3) How the heck I'm going to JFK on May 15th...
4) How to keep in contact with all my friends as more of them graduate or leave the country...
5) Why I haven't kept in contact with more people from high school
It would be nice if my daily life had background music to it. But honestly, it's not that interesting, it's just plain random. :)
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