Goals and Dreams

For my phone interview for my internship, one of the questions asked was: "What do you think is your biggest accomplishment?" Well honestly, I wouldn't know how to measure that. So I told them, sure some people think that me knowing at least 3 other languages, studying abroad, etc is my big accomplishment. Probably my parents thought the fact I am going to college (first generation college student), getting a bunch of scholarships etc, is my biggest accomplishment. As for myself, I honestly wouldn't know, and so I told them that having a goal in life was probably an accomplishment in itself as many people really won't have one.

Well, I got the internship for those who wanted to know and currently loving it. But that's not the point of this post.

Lately, I've opened up my creativity to have way too many goals. Here I was, hoping to be a diplomat, work for a few years dabbling in all sorts of government related diplomacy, then use my knowledge to work on international (aero)space relations (yes I'm a lil crazy as most people never heard of this area) as some sort of ambassador.

Yet, as of last semester, I started to work on a proposal in trying to get an exchange program started for Spring Bud girls, disadvantaged chinese girls trying to get some schooling in. So I was figuring these disadvantaged kids would have such better futures if they were able to get overseas experience with the funding of some organization, like Rotary. But Beijing Rotary is a bit of a letdown (will have to call them up sometime), and the more I ask for ideas, the more I get. I'm afraid, as my boss keeps on telling me, I'd make a terrific professional NGO worker. If I am not that already. If I strive on this proposal, then I'll be consumed with this my entire life...which is my fear.

I've always loved this sense of stable instability. That's how I roll with my adventures and that is how I continue to live such a spontaneous life. I'm a workaholic towards my ambitions. I want to live and make a difference, make the world revolve (in a good way). I'm not saying my future is far from closing in, but at the same time, there are so many roads to take that are slowly being more...narrow. I guess along with that stable instability outlook, it is the same with the secure/insecurity thing. temporary/permanence. I guess I'm afraid of many silly things in life, one being that I might be in the Asian specialty my whole life. Stuck, as one may call it?

There's just so many tasks in my life that just needs to be done like a checklist.